just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My dick has a subreddit
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
