I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
NoShamevember. You game?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
