NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Pants are for mortals
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
