I think I am morally bankrupt
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
