she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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