So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
