508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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