you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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