Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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