Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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