yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize