So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
