i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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