Welp...herpes.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
