i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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