Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize