real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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