I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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