It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
