you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
