I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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