Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize