is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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