you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
