My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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