Christians are straight up FREAKS
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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