yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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