doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
