I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
this is an emotional support booty call
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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