Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
