We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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