I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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