Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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