1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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