I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
