I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
