Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
