So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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