I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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