I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
