I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
