When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He has the fingertips of a God
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
