Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize