you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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