this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
