You're my little dorito
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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