Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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