I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
