I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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