No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
