they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
