wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Someone signed my nipple.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
