Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wish you could order shots online.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
