I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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