the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize