I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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