Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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