On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
