its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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