She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
