you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize