East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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